Updated May 18th 2024
If you have a wedding (or 4) to attend this spring and summer, you might already have questions about what it means for your breastfeeding relationship. You can absolutely continue breastfeeding your baby! It just means planning ahead of time.
When our friends got married 4 weeks after I had my second baby, I made the very difficult decision to stay home. We were invited to the wedding months prior and I let them know it was unlikely I was going to come for the reception but I thought maybe I could make it for the ceremony. I waited until the RSVP date to let them know I wouldn’t be coming. It was August, extremely hot and I didn’t want to spend it out in the sun with a 4 week old. There was also no way I was going to go and leave him behind.
Since then, I have spent time away from my breastfed babies which meant pumping and other people feeding them and I’m also now a Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) so I’m going to guide you through everything you need to consider when planning to be away from your baby for 8+ hours at a wedding.
Pumping: you need to remove milk
If your baby isn’t going to be there to nurse, you need an alternative way to remove milk. If you’re already pumping daily, not a whole lot will be changing. I’m going to start with pumping and then share a few other options if your baby is primarily nursing.
If you’re already pumping, the main thing you need to focus on is trying to keep to your schedule as closely as possible. If you’re currently pumping every 3-4 hours for your baby, you’re going to want to pump every 3-4 hours while you’re away. This might be easier said than done especially when you’re celebrating and having fun and can easily lose track of time.
Make sure you pack your pump and extra batteries or the cord if it has the option to plug into the wall. The last thing you want to have happen is your pump dying! You’ll also need extra collection bottles or storage bags and a marker or pen to label them.
If you’re mostly nursing your baby and there’s no way for them to come to you for a nursing session, you’ll want to use hand expression. Alternatively if you have a pump, whether a hand pump or electric, you could use that but you may not get that much milk out. Overtime, your body can respond less to the pump if you’re mostly nursing. This is why I love using hand expression because you can actually collect more.
You will also need something to collect and store the milk in like milk storage bags or collection bottles.
Milk Storage: where do you put the milk you pump?
You’ll need a plan to store all the milk you collect. Depending on how long you’re away from your baby for, you may pump anywhere from 2-4x or more. All of that milk will need to end up in a fridge but it’s not like there’s going to be one readily available to you.
If the wedding is at a hotel, for example, and you have a room, you’ll be able to keep your milk in that fridge. An alternative if the wedding is at a golf course, outdoors or you don’t have immediate access to a fridge is to bring a cooler bag and a few ice packs. If you store your pumped milk this way, you’ll have 24 hours before it needs to get into a fridge. The other logistical aspect is where do I keep a cooler bag full of milk?! Well, you might need to get a little creative. Can you let a staff member know and keep it in coat check? Can you keep it under your table? If it’s not too hot, you might be able to keep it in your car.
Is your outfit pumping accessible?
I love jumpsuits/rompers but if you’ve ever worn one, you know it’s always a little weird to get half naked just to go pee. So, you’re definitely going to want to think about what you’re wearing and what it means for pumping.
When I was breastfeeding, I bought a jumpsuit with a zipper in front so that I could nurse and still stay dressed. Consider outfits that give you easy access. Zippers in the front, loose tops that can easily lift up, dresses with some stretch so you can keep them on while pumping. Or even dresses that have been designed with breastfeeding moms in mind and are nursing/pumping accessible. They cost a little more but they’re often pieces you can wear over and over again.
Other things you need to think about: travel, baby bottles and booze
What if the wedding is a destination wedding and it means air travel and a week away? Would your baby come with you? What if you’re planning to get a hotel room for the night and will be away from your baby for 24 hours? The longer you are travelling for or the longer you’re away from your baby, the more milk you will need to store.
You’ll also need a plan for how your baby will be fed while you’re away. Do they already takes bottles? Perfect! Use bottles. But what if they don’t take bottles? Introducing one before you leave may or may not be possible depending on your baby’s age how much time you have so you’ll have to plan for an alternative like cup feeding.
Weddings are a time of celebrating and often mean alcohol. If you’re planning to drink, you do not need to pump and dump. You can read my blog post “Is it ok to drink alcohol while breastfeeding” for everything you need to consider. I’ve linked it at the bottom of this post for you.
A final consideration is having milk ahead of time. If you’re leaving for a few hours, your baby is going to need milk left behind. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean you have to start pumping after each feed or anything like that. If you don’t already have milk in your freezer, about two weeks before your event you can begin working to collect a little extra milk. This could mean pumping after your baby’s first nursing session of the day, hand expressing after nursing or adding in a pump session before you go to bed. What’s going to work best for you is going to depend on you and your baby.
If you’re feeling like you need a more personalized approach to planning for being away from your baby during wedding season or other events, you can book a consultation with me here. We’ll go over the specific details of your event, your baby’s current patterns and schedules and we’ll co-create a plan to help you enjoy your time AND continue your breastfeeding relationship with your baby.
Resources mentioned in this post:
Alcohol and Breastfeeding [blog post]
Hand Expression [blog post]
Milk Storage [podcast]
Alex Wachelka is an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) who knows how hard it can feel sometimes to feed your baby. She’s passionate about educating moms about their bodies and babies so they can make the decisions that feel most right for them. When she’s not working with moms she’s spending time with her kids and rewatching episodes of her favourite TV shows.